Just call me the yes girl. I’m learning keys to my survival daily and it begins by saying yes!
Yes I will dance!
Yes I will take a temp job at the UN!
Yes I will move in with my friends!
Yes I will go to a bar and have a drink–alone!
Yes I will reinvent my bedtime & take advantage of the city that never sleeps!
Yes I will watch opera! I’ll go to Connecticut! I’ll drink drinks that come in watermelons! I’ll sing & sing! Yes to reflexology, psychic readings, best friends, old friends, yoga, wandering around, secret kisses, cab rides, Washington Heights, vintage dresses, writing poetry, blistered feet, gelato, Seva, Satsang, Riverside Drive, brunch and EVERYTHING in between.
The more I say yes, the more I realize I am more than surviving, I am flourishing.
My time back in the city (the city, incidentally always means New York City) has been incredible. I joked before coming back that NY would be my new lover, but that joke has become a reality. That’s the thing about New York, it can truly be a tangible being, a lover, that will open it’s arms to you again and again, no matter how many times you try and stray.
I’ve realized over the past few years that I tend to be happy wherever I am. Because I generally love life and I believe we create our own realities. I just read an amazing book, by Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book). This book has rocked my world and I highly recommend it! It quite simply states,
If you live without fear, if you love, there is no need for any of those emotions [anger, fear, jealousy, sadness, hate, etc]. If you don’t feel any of these emotions, it is logical that you will feel good. When you feel good, everything around you is good. When everything around you is great, everything makes you happy. You are loving everything that is around you, because you are loving yourself. Because you like the way you are. Because you are content with you. Because you are happy with your life. You are happy with the movie that you are producing, happy with your agreements with life. You are at peace, and you are happy. You live in that state of bliss where everything is so wonderful, and everything is so beautiful. In that state of bliss, you are making love all the time with everything that you perceive.
Yup, that sums it all up.
Sure I have my ups and downs, but my yoga practice and wonderful teachers, meditation and satsang, constantly brings me back to my true self. Practices like these are always there for us, reminding us that our spirits are at play, enjoying the ride, enjoying the dream that is this human experience.
When I first returned, sitting in meditation seemed impossible, so I went to 5 Rhythms Dance! (See my earlier blog on this amazing moving meditation practice.) Then finally I returned to one of my favorite studios, The World Yoga Center and listened as my teacher, Rudrani, reminded us that meditators love the hard stuff. All the bullshit of our lives, if you will pardon my language. She says we take it like grist to mill, because turning into ourselves and spending time with the hard stuff is how you will eventually burn it all away.
So as much as we don’t feel like being quite and dealing with conflicts, we must be courageous, brave, and fearless! We must say YES! This human life is not for the faint of heart. It’s hard. It hurts. We struggle. But we can dig deep, uncover our true, intrepid selves, and take the grist to mill. Because everything will be made useful and be a source of profit, so…say yes.
Note for all the actor’s reading this: When I looked up “grist to the mill,” the example sentence was “As an actor, all experience is grist to the mill.” Crazy! (And true).